Saying Yes To Uknown
Saying yes to unknown is the most horrifying choice a child
old 12 years old can make. For a child that age to make a choice of that big is
an amazing experience but filled with horror as well as excitement to something
that has never been done by a child this young.Living in a orphanage for years expecting nothing new
besides a normal day as usual. The day starts with school and then come back,
to the orphanage and sits down and watch television. While sitting there
watching television not expecting no surprises or anything new. I was about to
change the channel my caretaker comes in and calls me and tells me that I am
being called down to the director’s office. The first thought that came into my
mind is “ Oh crap got busted for smoking and drinking again!” But I manage to
keep the thought inside my head and a pop out a questions, “ Am I in trouble?”
she replies with a smile on her face, “No!” That is all she was willing to tell
me. I was lost and confused why Galina wanted to see me,I get up from the couch forget to change the channel. I
start walking to the door. Before I could open the door the caretaker speak,
“Good Luck!” I walk away slowly. I come to the stairs and I suddenly paused at
the top of them with a sudden surprise. I look down the stair and I see a group
of five people two that are familiar face and three that I had no idea who they
were they looked up with large smiles on their faces. Galina tells me to go get
my brother Nikolai (Kole) and my sister Julia. I reply, “For what?” she says,
“just do it and meet me in my office!” I get angry and my face gets hot but i
walk away to get them. I go and get them I slowly walk down those dark steep
stairs. I walk in the office and they all introduce themselves. The two people
I knew were Galina the director and her daughter Oksana the assistant director.
The other three I did not know before but i now know clearly. One lady was
named Olga she was a translator for Heidi and Felix they were from Colorado. I
got even more confused than I was before.
After one meeting, spending time getting to know the people
in Galina’s office they wanted to meet us again and I was willing to give them
a chance they came a long ways to meet us. On November 20, 2008 they came back
and visited us again I was in a very big shock that they came back to see us. I
took them around the orphanage showed them the view of the room and fun rooms
the basic life of a child in the orphanage. It was the day they have asked us
for questions. I had none. My sister Julia and my brother Kole had lots of
questions. I was quiet and patient just watching and studying and thinking
about those smiles and watching their expressions towards others. I
looked at my brother they had smiles on their faces and I did as well as I
never felt before. Their cheeks were rosy pink but smiles were happy but
covered with pain. After a long while of thinking and watching I had questioned
myself what if they are here to adopt us? The thought went over and over though
my mind. After days spending time with the people you’ve only known for a short
period of time and trying to decide what is the best for your loved once.Days go by after spending time with the family that never
known our childhood. They ask one questioned that I never thought was going to
be asked. The questions is easy to ask but the answer relies on the heart and
it’s hard to answer. They have asked us to become a part of their family. I was
in shock. My sister said ‘Yes!” I was confused why she has betrayed me. My
brother looks over and turns away and say’s ”Yes!” The betrayal makes its very
difficult for me to decide. They were no longer on my side. I was lost trying
my best to remain calm. I was afraid to loose them If I did I wouldn't
forgive my self ever. I wanted the best for them the best that’s what they
deserved after all that pain they have been through. I knew that I had to stop
being so negative and start looking to the bright side. After days of
weeping for the betrayal I have finally managed to take a risk to something
that never have been done. I have managed to say, “Yes!” I never thought I
would ever have to make a choice this hard at this young age as I was. After
giving the answer they looked at me with joy and happiness that I have never
seen anyone have in my entire life.
After I have conferment the answer days after I was told
about the court date. I was scared and confused about what to say and what to
do to because I have never been in a court. The people who I shall now
call mom and dad have taken us out of the orphanage I was amazed. We went
shopping for clothes and going to museums and mom who now shall be called spoke
some Spanish it was very bad but I could understand it, it was her high school
Spanish she never knew she would use it in the future. Waiting for the court
day was one of the hardest things I've ever waited for in my entire life. Over
the waiting period my sister was in sanatoriy, which was kind of like a
hospital thing. We visited her and then after a long while we took her out of there
to go to the apartment. After waiting for weeks we had finally came to the
final day court day yeah nope not really. We all said yes and signed the
documents but the lady wanted to keep my brother i got really angry because it
wasn't her choice it was mine and his its not for her to decide if he goes or
stays in Ukraine. After the court and all those dumb document signing we have
finally gotten a ten day wait for visas oh that was not very pretty because we
waited ten days and me and Julia have gotten our visas and Kole didn’t get his
because they lost the stupid picture and my mom got very angry and yelled at
Olga because she was the one that has lost it or was involved in it she was the
one getting payed to do all the work. Its was almost Christmas time. Finally we
got his Picture and we were packing our stuff to leave finally we had a going
away party at my orphanage and we had fun we cried and laughed at the same time
but i was happy and they were happy for me. We arrived at the airport all
tired but there were so many faces that were happy to see us with smiles on
their faces and speaking English I didn’t know English at all so I had to learn
it. People were smiling and laughing and giving us all those present of course
it was Christmas Eve but how did they know all this.... We talked and laughed
and talked and finally left the airport and went home.
After
going through all those memorable events we have finally got home very tired
and sleepy. I lay down try not to think of anything, try to clear my mind but
its not possible. I was thinking about the thing I've done and the things I’ve
been though. I try to forget all the people in the past and start a new life
it’s so different and hard. I try to burn the chapters of my life and start a
new story. I child who is 12 years old should never go through horror I've been
through. After growing up and making a choice i have finally chosen a path of
life that id right after years I have learned the mistakes I've made when I was
younger. I have finally chosen to forgive the people that have hurt me in the
past. The hardest thing a child has to do is forgive the unforgiving and say
yes to unknown.
5 comments:
Nadechka, I am soooo happy you made that decision!!!!! I look at my kids that we adopted and I know how hard it was for them to make that choice. And then you come to your forever family home and life is really hard, trying to learn new language, rules your new mom and dad have, and everything else... I hope you write about those first couple of years one of these days so that kids that are still going through it can see that someone else has been in their shoes and that life does get better. :)
Thank you for writing this!
Natasha
I remember these days all too well!!! You were never quite sure you made the right decision. I think now after all this time, you understand that God was watching after you and gave you the exact family you needed!!!
Nadia, I am so glad you wrote this. We are going to Ukraine again for a third adoption, and hearing your perspective on the adoption really helps me to think about how the children must feel. I think you made a very brave decision. God bless you and your family!
I'm so glad you said "yes"!! Love you!
god bless you ....
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